With you or Without You

With You Always

With You Always

 Rose would always wonder what it would be like to give an ultimatum to a loved one. She had never done it before and never even thought about it until this moment. She had never been in love too! She was married once and she did give her ex-husband an ultimatum. But she never loved him…so it was not a big deal. You can always chuck out someone from your life whenever you want, if you do not love them.

But this guy is different. He has been a pillar of strength to her since a couple of years. He does everything for her and is very thoughtful in that regard.He has literally scooped her out of her misery and showered her with all that he could ,including his love. Rose can sure see the passion and care he has for her. But she can also see that he is not yet out of his trauma as yet. Trauma of a marriage terribly gone wrong in flat one year. He still seems haunted by the thoughts of the terrible fights he had with his ex. But its time Andy comes out of his past and understands that no two people can be same. Sometimes Rose is not able to take his hard stands and non-negotiable terms too easily because she is made to realize that she is behaving like his ex. She has told Andy several times that its the worst thing to do- to compare your current with your ex…good or bad.  By now Andy had told her more than a couple times that even this relationship is going nowhere and they need to take a call. Andy gives her no vocal assurance that he would give it a try or they can discuss their differences and sort them out. Its always like ,”you cannot accept me as I am and hence there is no compatibility. Since my previous relationship had similar issues so even this is gonna end…sooner or later”. This also indicates that Andy is probably left with no patience as far as relationships are concerned. He just cannot change himself for anyone and if someone can stay with him with all his shortcomings its okay…he cannot try to change himself. Rose wonders if her love aint enough to change someone for better or is it better to love without expectations.

Forever Yours

Forever Yours

Rose imagines a situation when she is having this conversation again. She wants to have the upper edge by picking up the bags and taking the next flight out. She does not want to blame compatibility for the rough patch but wants to tell Andy that its his ego that cannot learn from his earlier mistakes. When he got out of his marriage he should have learnt some lessons- to love without any limits, not to let his ego come inbetween matters of heart, to be able to tell himself that sometimes he needs to look inside himself and see if he can change for better or not to do something which may have the capacity to hurt a loved one, that he may also have faltered in his marriage and that he would not make the same mistake again.

Rose wants to teach Andy how it feels when one gives an ultimatum or acts on one. She wants to make him go through this feeling when one has lost the love of his life…she wants to make him understand that with  a loved one, its never a mistake-its always learning to make changes, happily. However much she wants to do this, she knows in her heart, her love for Andy crosses all limits and she may never be able to do this. Coz this would mean she will have to move on. To find a better soulmate…this may be difficult but not impossible.

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Rose does not want to take on this journey again…not in this lifetime. So she lets her mind shut down and concentrates on the positives. The love, the care and the life itself makes every moment worth the struggle.

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