Peace Caught & Shot- A & R

Caught & Shot- A & R

Its been 3 years and Sara had been waiting to vent out her jealousy and anger for her current husband’s ex.It was the summer of 2011 that she met him for the first time. He constantly kept asking her out for coffee and after a month on a sultry Friday afternoon she gave in. They got on like a house on fire and before they realized Sara was spending every weekend with him and then 5 days a week !

After a couple of months went by, one night at 11 pm his cell phone constantly rang for an hour , when asked he said it was his sister and he does not want to take her call. Growing suspicious Sara started keeping a watch on his calls and messages. She realized , there were at least one missed call in the morning and wake up messages everyday. She believed him and took this to be utter sisterly love for him. Since there were no hugs, love or kisses,  she had no reason not to believe him. But it was after 7 long months she saw a text message which said, hugs and kisses. Sara grew suspicious now and confronted him. He pleaded guilty and said it was the girl his parents wanted him to marry. After a couple of more months not able to hide any more he accepted and bared out the truth. It was his wife of 3 years and girlfriend of 7 years. His marriage had broken down (earlier when he met Sara, he had told her that he was going through a breakup with his girlfriend!) and he does not want to stay with her anymore and it was already more than a year that he deliberately stayed away from her.

Thick into the relationship , Sara didn’t have a way out and decided to stay put to see if it works out. Meanwhile she gave him an ultimatum, no more lies.It was too much to handle , to know that he had hidden his wife from her all these months! But now she’s glad that he lied and that saved their relationship. Had he told her at the beginning, she would not have been able to endure it. She would not even have gone to meet him.

Next one year , Sara’s life went into a spin of sorts. Though it felt paranoid , but she kept a tab on him and his calls. He also confessed that in first year of courtship, his wife had visited him twice and stayed with him in his hotel room. Of course she was his wife and she had a right, but the jealousy pangs hit Sara hard when he disclosed this. That they were together and she did not know it. Now she realizes, if she knew it, she would not be able to handle it back then and would have broken up for sure.

That year 2012 was difficult as Sara kept thinking about their years of togetherness before and after their marriage respectively. He confessed, he loved her dearly but she took him for granted after marriage and it became too nasty. A man of few words, he didn’t explain much but whenever he did, he would be sad and quiet after that. Though during these times he remained with Sara day in and day out, she would still be jealous of her. He received her calls,texts and messages which he never returned lest Sara gets worried. She had clearly told him, no return calls or messages if he wanted their relationship.

There were times when Sara would see him get worried. She used to call his parents/brother/ sister and complained that he would not call her and be with her. It resulted in him getting emotionally tortured by his family. They were getting worried if this marriage would also end in divorce as his brother’s had a year before. Watching him get hassled, Sara would let him speak to her for sometime. On his birthdays and after every 2-3 weeks. It used to be a difficult decision but still Sara wanted him to speak to her so that he was not troubled by his folks.

Sara was spending days and nights with him and still bothered imagining her with him when he would go back home and his wife would also join him. Though this happened only in the year 2012 for a couple of times but she felt jealous that during those times he would listen to her, be with her ….He told Sara several times that there was nothing left between them and they didn’t even talk like before leave alone sleeping together. He had apparently asked his wife for some time to think about their relationship and told her to wait until then. She didn’t have any other choice but to trust him on this. She held tight to hope midst the feelings of insecurity, jealousy and envy. Here he was Sara’s guy for just a year and they had been together for 8 years if not less. Sara was so darn jealous of their time spent together. There was no explanation or justification for her feeling green that way. In those times she didn’t even know he existed in this world, but no one knows why hearts behave , the way they do.

It was not long before , when he totally stopped going home or even calling them. It took Sara the entire year of 2013 to convince herself that he now belonged to Sara. And that their past would never ever come back if she nurtured the relation ship carefully. Meanwhile, once he decided for the divorce,things became easier for him .

Jealousy is a green eyed monster and it does more harm than good. Sara had innumerable number of sleepless nights because of it. Its better if we can just let it go somehow. The insecurity, the envy and the possessiveness for people who are close to heart. Better said than done, it requires guts and bravery to overcome it  and be calm when such things happen. All is well that ends well but Sara could not comprehend it back then. He would constantly comfort Sara and let her know that all he wants is her and that he wants to grow old with her because no one had ever loved him like she did.Slowly and with lot of hard work, Sara became alright and was able to kick this negative feeling from her mind. It would not have been possible without his efforts.

So if you see someone getting jealous or envious, instead of leaving them on their own, help them out. It may not be possible for that person to get out of that pit on their own. Your help would go a long way!

Cheers for positive attitude and love that conquers all!



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