He and She

fat-duck

He loved spicy food and she loved non-veg. He loved romantic Bollywood numbers from the 70’s, she loved random stuff. He was fond of business news and she loved cricket. He valued family relationships outside the immediate family too, she was born and brought up in a nuclear family. He loved home made food because he had lived on ordered food for a long time, she loved to go out and very often because she gave food ratings on a regular basis for restaurants. He was a health freak, she loved to eat, read, sleep and repeat. They were poles apart in diversities yet they clicked. Or so they thought. Opposites do attract but not necessarily for longer periods in time.

They had met on internet when it was new. Just chat and mails in those times. They grew fond of each other over next 5 years. Little did they realized that the charm was superficial. It was mostly because they were still in college and were not committed to anyone else at that point in time. Coming from different religious and ethnic backgrounds, their relationship was doomed from day one. But they managed to overlook the red signals, defied their common sense and went against their families.

The marriage went kaput in just a couple of months. They realized it soon but they dragged it for a year somehow. She took a decision to pursue her studies instead and he took a travelling job and a transfer to another city.

Rest is history.

Lesson learnt from other’s mistake: Do not jump into a relationship just because you are single and never take your marriage for granted.

Duck-Amazing

PS- He loved being with nature, she loved being inside her cozy room, reading and cooking!

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Soul- Searching

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Sitting in the coffee shop, Neha’s life flashed in front of her eyes.They knew each other for a decade now.She was all of twenty and he, an engineering graduate. He doted on her and visited her every year before he finally took a job in her city just so they could spend more time in person. After initial hiccups of religion, caste and parents’ disapprovals, they had got married. They were best of friends, lovers and souls-mates, she had thought. She trusted him blindly for he had pursued her for several years before she said “yes”. Neel’s job made him travel all across the world and last time he was home, she had stumbled upon some texts on his cell phone. They were from a wrong number, he had said.

Holding the coffee mug, she remembered the red roses and the chocolate cake he received on his birthday. Apparently ,she had flown to be with him on his birthday that year. He would also sport new shirts every now and then. He had a new watch and a cell-phone. His calls and E-mails to her had reduced drastically. Neel, when cornered, would at times try to justify the situation and sometimes go silent. In the longer interest of their relationship, she had shoved these little incidents under the carpet. But in the end, they had piled up to create a boomerang.
All her fears had come true when she saw a picture of them in his wallet, this time. She was shocked, broken and dismayed when he walked out on her. He had left , just the way he came into her life.
Quietly.

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Lunch on an August Noon

Lunch

“Why don’t you come over for a cup of Coffee?” he asked.
“May be sometime later…” she had said. She had been avoiding this rendezvous for more than a month now.He was new and alone in the city and had been looking for a friend to talk and spend sometimes. She too, was lonely in her life.They hadbeen talking on phone  all this while and he seemed to be a kind person to her.They would generally talk about their work, hobbies and life in general.
It was a Friday morning and she had been in a rather traumatic state of mind,thanks to an early morning fight with her husband.As he called her on work, he had quietly listened to her sobs and imagined the nasty weekend she was going to have.
He asked again, ” Come over for a cup of coffee, you will feel better”. This time, she had said yes to him. Around noon, she took a bus to meet him at his place. He kept calling her to ensure she does not lose her way. She got out of the station and called him on his cell phone. They could not find each other for about 10 minutes. She wondered if it was too good to be true. But then she saw him waiting under a tree just outside the station with an umbrella. It was a hot August afternoon and as they walked down ,he kept the umbrella up over her through the entire way.

She looked up at him and wondered what took him so long. He looked at her smiling and asked,”What will you have for lunch?”

out-to-lunch

Those 7 years

A New Dawn

A New Dawn

He had pursued her for seven longs years and it was a fairy tale marriage. They were married in three different ceremonies and they believed to have found ultimate happiness.The trouble started brewing in the first year of marriage itself. Tempers ran high at the drop of a hat.There was no room for patience and respect, now that they were married. “Please”, “Sorry” and “I love you” were long forgotten words.

Her attitude, ego and immaturity turned every issue into arguments. More often than not,arguments turned into nasty fights. He seemed to have lost his most prized virtue , patience. Sometimes, he would not come back home and sleep at a friend’s place. To him, home never felt like a home at all. She would rage back to her parents after every little fight. The frustrations took over the fantasies of a happy life.
It seemed , the love had flown out of the window…literally. She stopped waiting for him and he started working extra hours.
Then one day he picked up his stuff and left for another city. She would not join him citing her studies.

Distances made them grow even more apart. She lived in denial of their failing marriage for next 2 years.
Meanwhile, he met another woman. One quiet lunch brought them together. Subsequent dates healed them to a great extent. She was bruised, abused and frail but her soul was alive. With her, he gained his hopes ,dreams and his life once again.

She promised to never take him for granted.
He promised to nurture her back with his love.

And they lived happily ever after.

Serendipity

Everyone has their serendipity moments. For some its food, results of an exam they took, sports event, stumbling upon a  buy-1-get-3-deal, bestie turning into a lover…

My serendipity moment has to be the way Ani came into my life. It was the summer of 2011 and my on-the rocks marriage had exasperated me to no end. I used be irritated, angry and upset all the time. My work was suffering and I had difficulty maintaining my all other relationships. Perhaps , the time had come to quit. After several attempts of online dating , I took a break as it was not at all a good feeling meeting awkward, funny, stupid and sometimes outrageous people.

I kept delaying meeting Ani and he kept asking me out for a coffee. After a month of chatting and talking on and off, I had finally agreed to see him for lunch. I had no hopes from this meeting, like I said, I was put off by the kind of people who were on the dating sites.

One meeting led to another and before I could realize we were seeing each other on every weekend.

But it was still a regular date and not a serious relationship. It could not be because I was not going to get into a serious relationship so soon. The scars of my abusive marriage were deep and I was simply taking time-out to re-organize my life. On the other hand Ani had left his wife of two years and was seeking a temporary relationship to spend his lonely weekends. So either way, we were just hanging out, giving ourselves some time and did not really want a relationship.

But before we could realize, we were thick into love and could not live without seeing each other. The temporary relation seemed to have done its first job- healing the scars. I felt that we were spending crazy amount of times together, hence I thought we needed to talk and give the relationship a direction. So, there we were discussing the possibility of a serious bond together just 6 months after we had met. Ani said ,he wanted to be with me , rest of his life but did not know how would we go ahead with so many complications around our lives. I admitted my feelings for him and told him,”Let’s go with the flow of time”.

Surprisingly, things got sorted out by themselves and both of us were divorced by the end of next one year.

My man is nice and kind by nature and that’s the most basic quality of a good human being. I could not have asked for more and we became man and wife soon.So a casual date turned into a pleasant relationship and then took an even more pleasant turn when we realized that we could not get a better spouse than each other.

So here is to unpredictable things, risk taking abilities, intuitive instincts, having fun, faith and loving life. Most important of all , is to give your best shot at all times and enjoy each moment of your life.

I would say, never forget to dream and things will work out for sure!!

Cheers!

IMG_6

Dreams coming true…

Father’s Day

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father’s Day

It was the first father’s day for Ani. This time it was special for me too, for I was glad that Ani was the father of my lucky baby.

Honest, fiercely loving, caring for both of us like none ever, makes him a very special person.

It  was celebrated twice, one a Pre-Father’s day and then again on THE day. Who could be the best father in this world than Ani as he brought me a lovely pair of crystal earrings even though it was his day!

Happy Father’s day….to all you wonderful dads!

One Journey of Faith

From Two 2 Three ! Shot by A& R

From Two 2 Three !
Shot by A & R

We had been waiting for this trip since one year. We had even planned the conception of our baby so that I would be able to fly during the safest period of my pregnancy. But somehow the trip didn’t come through the whole time. We, anyway enjoyed the first 2 quarters of the pregnancy in India while I let my husband know that I would need him by my side during the labor and delivery, in case he has to fly out now. He promised me he will be, at any cost.

You never know what destiny has in store for you.  We were prepared for this trip and also quite anxious about the long flying hours that I will have to spend sitting on a chair , given the fact that airline seats were not comfy by any means. By the end of 7th month, Ani’s trip came along, I got worked up now that I would have to bear it out alone, that is the rest of my pregnancy. But it was a huge surprise to know that most of the airlines allow pregnant women to fly till 36 weeks.I was only 30 weeks along.

We were flying out in next 2 weeks and all the arrangements had to be made. The “baby stuff” that was being done in a normal pace was rushed up and all the medicines etc were stocked up for next one month. Packing was being done for spices and Indian stuff that was not available in US. One constant worry was, if I would be comfortable sitting in the airline seat for 22 hours!

So it was , Hyderabad to Abu Dhabi , a 4 hour flight and then a 3 hour break before catching that dreadful 16 hour flight out from middle east to Americas! The entire journey was a mix of fear, excitement, happiness and most importantly this was our first international flight together. Ani was super worried about me and the baby and was on a roll all the time!

” Walk, move hands, move legs, eat, sleep, now wake up, drink water, have you had your medicines, okay now check out from the window, read this, watch a movie, wash your face and freshen up….goodness gracious ” , he was pretty worked up! Had a few bouts of uncomfortable hours in the long flight but overall, I enjoyed it. Ate everything that came along , also hogged the Methi Parathas and pickle which I made at home. Didn’t over sleep, watched some good videos and chatted up with my guy for hours! The stewardesses were taking extra care of me and I felt relaxed.

Honestly, the long flight didn’t feel like one and we bonded all over again , talking about the years that we had spent together and anticipating the years ahead. Talking about the lil’ one that was coming along to make our lives all the more happy.

So the entire journey turned out to be a pleasant one. Patience , love and faith kept us intact and made us enjoy the journey despite the apprehensions. I’m sure , life too is going to be one such long and pleasant flight!

Cheers!

The Trio !

The Faith ! Shot by A & R

No Time to Waste

25

Life is too short to regret and hold grudges against people who have not been fair to you.Or blame the circumstances you have been in ever since.You are invariably the choices that you make. The key is to learn the lesson, pick yourself up and get going!

The story of my life is not an enchanting one nonetheless it makes me realize that I’m solely responsible for my happiness.

At the age of 20, fresh out of college I was married off to a guy who was 10 years older than me. For a long time, I struggled hard to know him. Sometime during those initial years I knew, this is not my place.

For every moment of those long years, I had a nagging, burning, agonizing feeling that he would never be the right one for me. Despite his honesty, he seemed to play games with my heart, handled his finances very poorly and, amidst all, was very insecure despite having lots of confidence for himself. I could never understand him. But I understood that his family had never prepared him for LIFE and MARRIAGE, and the poor decisions he had made as a younger man had him caught in a muddy hole, one he just couldn’t seem to dig himself out of.

As the years went by, he could give me less and less of what I needed. Two kids  arrived during these years,things became better for me but nasty between us. I was a terrible nag, and I can feel that now. There were too many things about him that I would nag him about. And I began to realize that I could never change him and shouldn’t have to. What ate away at me day and night, was getting away from my kids because I honestly couldn’t imagine my life without them. And being alone horrified me.

The time when I was comprehending walking out on him, I started making more friends and spending time with them so that it would be easier to handle the stress of a broken marriage later on and beat the loneliness.During this enduring time I read the book “The Secret” which is about the law of attraction. It inspired me and made me pick myself up from the trash that I was in. I realized that, I had not arranged my life in a way that allowed for all the things I desired. I also realized that I had to decide what I wanted in my future and start taking active steps towards attracting that future. I knew that life would be only be about constriction and battle if I do not break away from this marriage which was doomed from the first day.

The silver lining was ,I had already met my soul-mate during these struggling years. Just that we had not realized the purpose (in the larger context) of our chance meeting.I moved out and rented one small bedroom apartment for myself. The initial few weeks were heart wrenching without kids. I would not cook, eat ,sleep or do anything. I walked around like a zombie ,even to my office! Nothing would make up for the kids’ smile and their presence around me all these years. Ani , helped me as much as he could by keeping in contact and was by my side all the while. During these hard times, I realized, Ani was in my life for something much more than that.

My fate was destined to be with Ani long before we actually met.

Most love stories begin in very unpredictable ways. Every single moment leading up to the one in which you meet your soul-mate prepares you for that person you were fated for. Previous heartbreaks or sleepless nights can be essential in the grand plan of things—sometimes we need to know what something feels like when it’s wrong before we can ever really know it when another thing is RIGHT.

I remember , when I first saw Ani, I was charmed by his bright smile and vibrant eyes. Three years down the line, I’m in love with his smile and eyes even more! For him, it took a longer time,but we are at the same frequency now!

If I would not have had the courage to walk out , I would have never known this happiness. the happiness of being with the soul-mate, the support of the spouse, the freedom of spirit and the honest, pure and unconditional love!

Life is too short to be unhappy and to blame others for the choices we make. Get up and make decisions. Pull someone out of the rut. Foresee and attract your future. Its all in your hands.

Lets know the importance of each day and each moment that we are blessed with and make the most of it!

Cheers!

Togetherness Shot: A & R

Togetherness
Shot: A & R

Green-Eyed-Monster

Peace Caught & Shot- A & R

Peace
Caught & Shot- A & R

Its been 3 years and Sara had been waiting to vent out her jealousy and anger for her current husband’s ex.It was the summer of 2011 that she met him for the first time. He constantly kept asking her out for coffee and after a month on a sultry Friday afternoon she gave in. They got on like a house on fire and before they realized Sara was spending every weekend with him and then 5 days a week !

After a couple of months went by, one night at 11 pm his cell phone constantly rang for an hour , when asked he said it was his sister and he does not want to take her call. Growing suspicious Sara started keeping a watch on his calls and messages. She realized , there were at least one missed call in the morning and wake up messages everyday. She believed him and took this to be utter sisterly love for him. Since there were no hugs, love or kisses,  she had no reason not to believe him. But it was after 7 long months she saw a text message which said, hugs and kisses. Sara grew suspicious now and confronted him. He pleaded guilty and said it was the girl his parents wanted him to marry. After a couple of more months not able to hide any more he accepted and bared out the truth. It was his wife of 3 years and girlfriend of 7 years. His marriage had broken down (earlier when he met Sara, he had told her that he was going through a breakup with his girlfriend!) and he does not want to stay with her anymore and it was already more than a year that he deliberately stayed away from her.

Thick into the relationship , Sara didn’t have a way out and decided to stay put to see if it works out. Meanwhile she gave him an ultimatum, no more lies.It was too much to handle , to know that he had hidden his wife from her all these months! But now she’s glad that he lied and that saved their relationship. Had he told her at the beginning, she would not have been able to endure it. She would not even have gone to meet him.

Next one year , Sara’s life went into a spin of sorts. Though it felt paranoid , but she kept a tab on him and his calls. He also confessed that in first year of courtship, his wife had visited him twice and stayed with him in his hotel room. Of course she was his wife and she had a right, but the jealousy pangs hit Sara hard when he disclosed this. That they were together and she did not know it. Now she realizes, if she knew it, she would not be able to handle it back then and would have broken up for sure.

That year 2012 was difficult as Sara kept thinking about their years of togetherness before and after their marriage respectively. He confessed, he loved her dearly but she took him for granted after marriage and it became too nasty. A man of few words, he didn’t explain much but whenever he did, he would be sad and quiet after that. Though during these times he remained with Sara day in and day out, she would still be jealous of her. He received her calls,texts and messages which he never returned lest Sara gets worried. She had clearly told him, no return calls or messages if he wanted their relationship.

There were times when Sara would see him get worried. She used to call his parents/brother/ sister and complained that he would not call her and be with her. It resulted in him getting emotionally tortured by his family. They were getting worried if this marriage would also end in divorce as his brother’s had a year before. Watching him get hassled, Sara would let him speak to her for sometime. On his birthdays and after every 2-3 weeks. It used to be a difficult decision but still Sara wanted him to speak to her so that he was not troubled by his folks.

Sara was spending days and nights with him and still bothered imagining her with him when he would go back home and his wife would also join him. Though this happened only in the year 2012 for a couple of times but she felt jealous that during those times he would listen to her, be with her ….He told Sara several times that there was nothing left between them and they didn’t even talk like before leave alone sleeping together. He had apparently asked his wife for some time to think about their relationship and told her to wait until then. She didn’t have any other choice but to trust him on this. She held tight to hope midst the feelings of insecurity, jealousy and envy. Here he was Sara’s guy for just a year and they had been together for 8 years if not less. Sara was so darn jealous of their time spent together. There was no explanation or justification for her feeling green that way. In those times she didn’t even know he existed in this world, but no one knows why hearts behave , the way they do.

It was not long before , when he totally stopped going home or even calling them. It took Sara the entire year of 2013 to convince herself that he now belonged to Sara. And that their past would never ever come back if she nurtured the relation ship carefully. Meanwhile, once he decided for the divorce,things became easier for him .

Jealousy is a green eyed monster and it does more harm than good. Sara had innumerable number of sleepless nights because of it. Its better if we can just let it go somehow. The insecurity, the envy and the possessiveness for people who are close to heart. Better said than done, it requires guts and bravery to overcome it  and be calm when such things happen. All is well that ends well but Sara could not comprehend it back then. He would constantly comfort Sara and let her know that all he wants is her and that he wants to grow old with her because no one had ever loved him like she did.Slowly and with lot of hard work, Sara became alright and was able to kick this negative feeling from her mind. It would not have been possible without his efforts.

So if you see someone getting jealous or envious, instead of leaving them on their own, help them out. It may not be possible for that person to get out of that pit on their own. Your help would go a long way!

Cheers for positive attitude and love that conquers all!

 

Perspectives

In search of Love... Caught & Shot- A & R

In search of Love…
Caught & Shot- A & R

Being a man is a tough job. You are supposed to show everyone that you won’t break, you won’t falter and you won’t ditch.

Andy had to hide his emotions lest he is ridiculed or humiliated. He chose to be quiet during his one year ordeal and never missed a chance to stay out of the house. It was the most difficult year of his life. This was their first year of marriage which he had always looked forward to since last 7 years or say 5 years to be precise. Initial 2 years of their knowing each other he never thought of her as his future girl. The marriage, he thought would make things easier for them as a couple and let settle them down at one place. Since last 7 years of knowing each other, initial 5 years they had been living apart in different cities.

Now after 3 years of that eventful and fateful day of his life, he has forgotten the entire hullabaloo around it. After a chance meeting on an internet chat room, they had been in touch. Initially they chatted once in a week later it would become more frequent. Internet cafe was the only resource for their communication and it was tough going to one after the college classes were over. His other friends would have their share of girls and he would feel isolated and left alone at times. Chatting with her quite made up for it. After 2 years being in touch online he thought may be this was the girl. He was 24 , just out of Engineering college and off to a job in a state further north. he proposed , she point blank rejected. He was left shell-shocked, as through her chats she seemed to be enjoying his attention. Girls never know their mind and are always confused, he realized. It was a waste of time and energy, he concluded. He conveniently forgot her for next almost 2 years while he got busy at his first job. New people, new place, new surroundings and new friends made up for his free evenings. He enjoyed trying new cuisines and sometimes chatting with random people on internet.

Andy had almost forgot her when one fine day suddenly out of the blue he received a mail from her. She wanted to start the friendship again. “I thought over it and realized I too am in love with you and you are the one for me.” she had said. His mind was clouded with thoughts now. How can someone get back after 2 years of thinking, what has she been thinking….he wondered. Anyways he said okay and that he will give it a try. It was not long before that they started chatting and bonded again. Next three years of courtship were mostly through emails and chats and an occasional call on the weekend. After 2 years on the job Andy decide to do his MBA. Mumbai was his favorite city , he had spent his college days here.  Andy was back here in a prestigious campus of the country to finish his Masters. She was still in another city and had started working as she finished her studies.

After 3 years of online courtship and finishing his Masters, Andy took up a job in her city. It was a conscious decision on his part as the relationship was going no where due to long distance courtship and Andy wanted to give it as serious try.  Andy always believed in giving 100% in whatever he took up for himself. This time it was a relationship and he wanted to know if there was a lag from his side for not feeling fulfilled. As Andy  reached her city and joined his new work, he felt a certain relief.

Andy was not comfortable staying in a rented place as he had to share his house with room mates. That made him shift his house 3 times in a year and finally it was a good locality with public transport system to his workplace. They kept meeting on weekends to have dinners or coffee. Andy was getting to know her. She seemed to be an independent-minded spoilt brat who would hardly listen to what he had to say. She grew up doing her own things without knowing what it takes to be with another person especially in a relationship. To Andy she seemed like a totally different person than what she was on their email conversation in last 5 years. But Andy could not gather if he was wholly correct or was just making a hasty opinion. He thought to give the relationship some more time to grow lest he breaks it up by his hasty fore-sightedness.

2 more years flew by. She had informed her folks by now about him. He too had informed at his place. The parents seemed not to agree due to caste and religious differences but they decided to go ahead. After a while , Andy visited her place, her parents agreed to their only daughter’s demand. “him or no one” , she had said. Before they realized it was year 2009 and they had got married in a hurry. Andy had changed his job from her city to the same place where he worked in his first job. This place was better than her city, he had realized. After the marriage they continued staying apart in different cities until a few months when Andy joined back another job at Mumbai again. He asked her to join her there. They began by taking up a good 2 bedroom apartment on rent. Life was cozy for her as she had left her job and had become a full time homemaker. This was year beginning the year 2010.

Slowly and steadily the cracks in the relationship started to appear. Andy had a demanding job and he would not be back home before 11 pm. It stressed him out and he more often than not, took it out on her. She too got frustrated of loneliness and his bickering at the end of the day when he was back from work. The incompatibility started to show its ugly face. Andy would not get dinner as she would be too busy studying for some entrance exam or because she would be busy watching movies for her blog or meeting her friends. Every other day they would order food from outside and this made Andy even more unhappy. He always liked home made food and this was time after working in different cities, that he would want to eat home made food. Coming from a different cultural background, she would prepare some strange dishes every now and then and Andy would again have to resort to outside catering.

One year had passed by and this was beginning of the year 2011, Andy was dissatisfied with her, the circumstances and overall the marriage. He knew he had made a wrong decision and that he should have listened to his heart years before when he had taken that new job at her place. She too was frustrated and made a couple of trips to her parents place to relieve herself of the agonies. In her absence Andy started making new friends on internet. He realized talking to strangers was a better option than talking to her. She was loud, quarrelsome and irritating most of times. She never took him seriously and did her own thing. Andy realised, this woman was not made to be in a relationship he concluded. It was a year and a half since they got married.

Andy looked out for a change his job one more time. This time he made sure he took up a travelling job which would make him travel all around the world. . Andy flew out of the country for good. Meanwhile, his wife took to complete her studies. This was a better option than to work, she thought. She could finish her doctorate in next three years while he keeps travelling. What she didn’t realize was that Andy had taken that final flight away from her and from his hopelessly passionless marriage. Andy started dating new people while he was on these trips abroad while she hopelessly tried to kept in touch. Initially Andy would call her from abroad and also before he landed but then he kept reducing all such communications with her. It became one odd call a week or just before touching down back again.

She seemed to be completely engrossed in planning her studies but she seemed to get an intuition that something was wrong somewhere. Several times she tried to ask him if he was okay . When she didn’t get any clues from his side, she chose to brush off her doubts and got back to her studies again. She faltered for the second time.

Andy changed his job again in year 2011 March. This time he got a lucrative offer in her city.  Back then when they were dating there ,he had even purchased a house there to make their life easier. This time the job was a high income one. This time Andy decided to live apart from her in his own house. She was not happy but she could not help it. It was one year into her fellowship program and she refused to leave it to join him. She faltered again.

Andy was sent to Singapore for a work assignment of 4 months. He came back and joined another assignment at another city. He consciously chose not to visit her and kept himself busy in work. They would meet only once or twice in that year 2011 at his parents place. Several times she would force herself into his hotel room without his consent. She also forced him to stay with her in their house once. he became even more averse to her once she tried to commit suicide by popping some odd pills.  She faltered one last time.

One month into this new project at this new city, Andy met a girl on a dating site. It was Aug 2011. The day they met,his life changed for better.

Cut back to present ….Its been 3 years and Andy is happily married to her. Andy does not remember his past. Nor does she lets him. But sometimes a stray thought comes onto his mind….he had wasted 7 years of his life for a good for nothing woman. How does one trust a relationship? There is no way except to live in together for sometime. That’s what they had done. They lived together day in and day out for last 3 years till they became inseparable!

Life is a gamble he thought, one time he lost and this time he has won the Power-ball!

His Girl Caught & Shot- Andy

His Girl
Caught & Shot- Andy

Its only fair, he knows.

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